A space away from other minds

It's the end of the week and I've just been out for dinner with my wife. And as I sit here searching for something to write, I ask myself some prompting questions: What have you noticed today? Was there something that happened that made you think differently or triggered some kind of realisation? What do you notice in this present moment? What thoughts or feelings arise?

It is this last question that grabs me. What I'm feeling is uncomfortable. Uncomfortable because I'm hyper-aware that while I sit staring at a blank page, my wife is sitting next to me. And while she is doom scrolling on Reddit or Instagram, I am still sensitive to the fact that at any moment, she might look over at my screen and ask me that patronising question: What are you writing about?

The thing is, It's not like I have an issue sharing. Rather, I would just like to share when I am done. Writing is a form of retreating into oneself. When we're forced to communicate and make ourselves clear for others’ sake, sometimes it's nice to just make something clear enough for myself.

A bit part of why I write to clarify my thinking. But is also the need to grab moments of solitude —the space away from other minds. My wife is very much absorbed in a world of other minds at this moment, and so I’ve managed to get to the end of this page with my thoughts uninterrupted.